Relationship Roots: The importance of going back to the beginning

We have been reading Esther Perel’s new book, Mating in Captivity, partly in preparation for her visit in April.

It is phenomenal. Really very interesting. Esther’s voice and perspective is not only warm but also refreshing and reasoned. Her skill as both therapist and writer is clear. She articulately retells stories of her clients, weaving in relevant psychological themes, historical and multi-cultural perspectives, and modern day relationship realities.

What I was also struck by was a few strong parallels to our business consulting work. One parallel was the effectiveness of “going back to the beginning”.

Esther shares how she frequently will have new clients recount how they met each other.

She writes:
“People don’t usually come to me when they are still in the initial thrall of love. Sometimes they need a gentle reminder of what once was. It can be difficult for estranged or distressed couples to focus on what drew them together, but within every couple’s ‘creation myth’ lies the key to understanding the unfolding story of their relationship.”

This reminds me a lot of those entrepreneurs who get hijacked by their business. We often work with women who struck out on their own with zeal and enthusiasm. The reasons for being the boss were clear and the benefits of entrepreneurship were plentiful.

Fast forward a few years later, these same women feel imprisoned by a business that they no longer like. They are subject to a work system that no longer meets their needs or works for them.

Maybe they are working way too much. Maybe they are doing tasks that they don’t like. Maybe they aren’t nearly making enough money. Maybe every modicum of flexibility or balance has been gobbled by their business. Maybe they are just tired and uninspired. In every case, they are off track.

In order to getting better understanding of the situation we, like Esther, ask them to tell us about the beginning. Why did they start? What did they want and hope for at the beginning? What did they feel? What did they love about their new role and venture? And perhaps, what was uncomfortable about it?

The story that is told always feels leagues away from the current and unhappy reality. It helps us to see the entrepreneur in a different, more revitalized light. It helps them to reconnect with their original intentions and motivations. And most importantly it provides the clues for why the present state is so unsatisfying.

In both cases, personal relationships and professional ventures, it is helpful to find concrete ways of hanging on to some of those beginning feelings. They should be readily accessible and frequently reminded. It is too easy to let years of data and experience and disappointment and misunderstanding file on top of those founding thoughts and feelings, obscuring them and leaving them buried under an unfavorable history.

So, while you’re thinking of it, why did you get started?

What were your original hopes, motivations, and intentions?

What did you want to achieve with your business? Has that changed over time? Have you allowed your business to change with it?

posted by Adelaide Lancaster

Kindle Compromise: A new relationship that comes with its own pros and cons

I was thrilled to receive a Kindle for Christmas and I have been proudly showing it to everyone I know. Beside being just excited about my new gadget, I have been using it a ton. However, I’m finding that my relationship with my new e-reader has been more nuanced than I imagined. I probably shouldn’t be so surprised…after all I have cultivated a 30 year relationship with the paper book. Surely it is fair to have a few nostalgic hang-ups.

So after 6 weeks of use…here is my Pro/Con list. To be fair the Cons are NOT really a drawback of the Kindle per se…just e-readers in general.

(Pros) Things I love about my Kindle:

· As a commuter I love that it is light and thin.

· I love being able to easily carry multiple books with me at once. Also, since I am trying hard to drastically pair down my belongings at home, I appreciate not feeling guilty about acquiring more books that I will someday probably soon have to agonize about getting rid of…it has already been like Sophie’s Choice.

· I love that the newly-released books that I am buying are cheaper than the paper versions (for now)

· I love that it has a built in dictionary. My vocabulary (and joke) memory are about 3 seconds long, so it is nice to easily be able to look up the same word multiple times

· I love that you can electronically underline sections and store them together…all in one place

· I love the screen and how clean, crisp, and easy it is to read it is.

· It is easy to read in bed or laying down and doesn’t require the awkward flipping back and forth that traditional books do.

· Of course, it is amazing to instantaneously have the book that you want!

(Cons) E-Reader Challenges:

· I hate that I can’t lend books to anyone, not even to someone with a Kindle. My husband and business partner have both had to purchase books that I have recommended because I can’t lend my copy to them.

· My battery had died on the train, trapping all the 4 interesting books that I wanted to read inside.

· Which brings me to the fact that you have to remember to charge it.

· Not all books are available via the Kindle, which is ok, but it makes me less inclined to buy it. It is tough to navigate two systems of books and I was ready to take the full digital plunge.

· After a long day of computer work and an acute case of electronic fatigue I am often hesitant to pick up my Kindle and I instead long for good old paper. Although once I do start reading, I am always fine on account of the lovely screen and eye-pleasing screen that I mentioned above.

· The back of the Kindle is cold on bare legs! Bad for reading in bed, the beach/pool, and in the summer time.

· Despite the “progress bar” on the bottom of the screen you just don’t have the same level of satisfaction and accomplishment as you do when you are steadily seeing more pages stack up on the left side.

· If the book is pretty, you don’t get to enjoy the cover.

· I have my first book club meeting next week and my fear is that it will be hard to coordinate with everyone else, since I can’t match up page numbers.

· Speaking of book club…it is really hard to skim a book on a Kindle!!

While I’m certain that the benefits outweigh the costs in this situation and that e-readers will be the future, I neglected to realize that my breakup from traditional paper books may be painful and that it may take a little longer to negotiate my new digital reader relationship. And in the meantime I, of course, have to keep myself from reminiscing about paper books through rose-colored glasses. Each relationship comes with its own baggage, pros & cons, advantages and drawbacks!

posted by Adelaide Lancaster

Not too together; Not too alone: The best of both working worlds

We have been reading with great interest about the Inc magazine ‘going virtual’ experiment. We even solicited our members to share some advice with them about working virtually or from home. Now, of course, some things are quite different given that each of us here at In Good Company work for ourselves (Inc staffers have to worry more about virtual communication and collaboration; IGCers have to worry more about other business responsibilities like taxes, billing, marketing, sales, etc.), but there are many challenges and factors that are the same or at least similar.

Primarily the similarities reside in the isolation factor: working along all day often in the confines of your own personal space, sans the on-hand tech support of a larger organization, left to your own scheduling devices, and devoid of face-to-face co-worker interaction.

Last week, Inc Magazine enlisted expert Kate Lister (@workfromhomekate) author of Undress for Success, to talk about the pros of telecommuting. It was in reading this that I was really struck by home much I value my hybrid professional experience and my ability have what I consider the best of both worlds.

Kate talks about the vast ways in which our social landscape would change if all the people that could work at home did so. For example,

* Productivity increases up to $200 billion per year!

* Companies would save almost $200 billion as well!

* 150,000 fewer people would die in car accidents each year

* 84 million tons of greenhouse gases would be eliminated.

Those numbers are hard to argue with and I totally agree that these would be good things! Selfishly, I can’t imagine being confined to a traditional office schedule, structure, or environment. I love my flexibility, although I probably end up working more and perhaps making less.

YET…I also think about all these millions of newly-freed employees who may excitedly embracing tele-commuting only to find out that exclusively working from home is not all it is cracked up to be.

We started In Good Company for all those folks who could no longer stand working from home all the time. Who felt lonely and isolated. Who spent too much time reinventing the wheel because they didn’t have colleagues close on hand. Who missed brainstorming in person and the random opportunities that can arise from being in the same right place at the same right time.

I wouldn’t and couldn’t give that up. I know that I am happier and more productive because the ability to both work from home AND from an office, to spend days alone uninterrupted AND in the company of my peers. We designed In Good Company differently and built it on a flexible and shared model because when we did have a private office elsewhere, we found that trekking there only to shut the door and be alone again really didn’t solve our problems. I like having it both ways and think that other should be able to do that too.

I know that tele-commuting doesn’t have to represent one extreme. Kate and others like Cali Yost (@caliyost) write a lot about work life fit and how to give people the choices they want. I offer up myself and our community of women as examples of people who could decide what they want and how and decide to have both.

Maybe after Inc Magazine completes this one month experiment, they could do another where people had the option to both work from home AND from the office. In my opinion it is what I enjoy the most and what works the best.

For the rest of us, is it time you rethought where you work and how you work?

Are you getting the best of both worlds?

posted by Adelaide Lancaster

image courtesy of trulyvera

Happily Me: Thoughts on The Happiness Project

I am happily halfway through reading The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin, who we are thrilled is coming to speak at IGC in February!

The Happiness Project is an account of the year that Gretchen spent test driving different theories of happiness in order to be more appreciative of the great life she already had. I love the premise of the book and can relate to the structured, pragmatic, and goal-oriented way that she approaches her own happiness.

I also love that she created this quest during a time of happiness rather than, like so many others, after a personal disaster or loss. Perhaps it is because I have had so many chaotic and challenging times in my past, but I love the romance of the everyday so it really works for me that this book focuses on happiness of the everyday variety, not the ‘what is my purpose on earth’ kind.

I consider myself a very happy and content person, and if given the choice I would change anything significant in my life. Although, like Gretchen, I agree it would be great to be more appreciative on a daily basis. There are little moments where I find myself disproportionately frustrated or annoyed, or that I find I don’t remember really wonderful things as frequently as I should, or that I continue habits that are unhappy and unhelpful (i.e. checking the Blackberry at night).

So I have really been taking Gretchen’s wisdom and experiences to heart. Last night I was reading about the month that Gretchen dedicated to focusing on having more fun. It was interesting because some of what Gretchen resolved to do was expand her horizons and try new things, yet at the same time she was also trying to be true to one of the resolutions that she developed at the start of the year: Be Gretchen. Obviously sometimes these things were in tension. Trying new things can be difficult when you are also being mindful and honest about what you do and don’t like to do.

Anyway, a good part of the chapter focused on owning who you are and living in accordance with it. Many of Gretchen’s blog readers had written into her blog sharing their challenges coming to terms with who they really are, what they really like, and what they really don’t like. Sometimes it takes a while to realize that no, you really don’t like staying up late or reading certain things, or doing certain jobs. No matter how hard you’ve tried to convince yourself.

What I ended up thinking was something different though. During my growing up journey I certainly had some (sometimes surprising) realizations about who “Adelaide” really was. But long after acknowledging and accepting certain facts, I have found that the resistance is a lot less internal and a lot more external.

I have the experience of telling people that I am not that social, don’t enjoy cocktail parties, and can be quite awkward in conversation, only to have them tell me not to be silly and that of course I’m not that way. Maybe they are trying to make me feel better and are secretly thinking ‘you’re not kidding!’ or maybe they just don’t or don’t want to see me that way. Or I will tell people that I hate to exercise and they will say “but you are an active person”. I don’t want to argue but by most definitions, probably not.

I’m not sure why I get push back on some things or whether other people experience it as well. Sometimes this resistance from others gives me pause and makes me wonder whether my self-perception is off. But I’m now thinking about it differently. Other people don’t have to believe me, but I have to believe me. I realize that it not just about self-confidence and honesty, it is an important part of my happiness. Sharing a preference or limitation with others protects that happiness. Saying no to things you don’t like and making informed choices also protects that happiness.

One of the many big takeways from The Happiness Project for me:

Less of what you don’t like. More of what you do. Be Adelaide.

posted by Adelaide Lancaster
image courtesy of Kimberly Creagan

Happy in 2010! Resolutions, Focus, Tips, and Best Practices

(image from Farouche on etsy.com)

I recently signed up to participate in Gretchen Rubin’s Happiness Project for 2010. The Happiness Project was the impetus for Gretchen’s new book coming out on Dec 29.

The book is an account of the year she spent test-driving studies and theories about how to be happier.

I’m all about best practices and love learning about studies so I know always knew the book would be for me. (I can’t wait to learn what is considered hogwash and what actually works!)

But right now I am also intrigued by resolutions and process. I know, the time of year is good for it, but I am also motivated by my experience from this last year.

For the first time, I made good resolutions! I had resolved to improve my grammar and to improve my posture. Is either perfect? Nope. But they’re better. And what’s more, it wasn’t a guilt-ridden, ‘set yourself up for failure experience. Instead, I simply focus on two concrete things I wanted to improve and took several steps to do so.

So for this next year, in addition to continuing my grammar and posture initiatives I would like to improve my blackberry boundaries. Specifically, I would like to insulate myself from my blackberry during certain hours. Right now, even if I know I won’t respond to any emails I see, I can find myself deliberately and absent-mindedly checking my blackberry at stupid times during the evening right up until I go to bed. The problem is that whatever emails are awaiting me kick my mind into gear and prevent me from truly relaxing, focusing on something else, or turning off work for a while. I would like to improve this by focus on it more and being more aware of my desired outcome and behavior.

I’m joining the happiness project because I think it will be a nice accompaniment to the book and also because I would like Gretchen’s help spotlighting other areas of my life to I can focus on them as well. I find the positive tone of Gretchen’s tips and writing to be appealing and I also appreciate that she her advice is of the “meet you were you are” type style. No one needs to start the year by heaping expectations and pressure on to their self.

So more about the project process:
Starting each month in 2010, Gretchen will propose an area of life to tackle, and once a week, over the next four weeks, she’ll suggest concrete, manageable resolutions to help you boost your happiness – and remind you to stick with them. She’s also going to do a series of short videos on the proposed resolutions and why they matter. Want to join us?

Right now she has the following topics slated:
January--Body
February--Love
March--Work
April--Money
May--Mindfulness
June--Order
July--Spirit
August--Fun
September--Parenthood
October--Friends
November--Attitude
December--Boot Camp Perfect

(This monthly focus reminds me of the awesome Give It Up! My Year of Learning to Live Better with Less by Mary Carlomagno)

I’m happy to share how it is going throughout the year! In the meantime, I’m excited for the book. And I'd love to know what you are resolving for the New Year! Tell us.

Restraining yourself from internet searching off course

(photo courtesy of K W Baker)




I admit that very often the minute I open my browser to look up one quick thing, at least 30 minutes pass before I shake myself out of my “internet coma”, which has inevitably led deep into the internet abyss and entangled me with things that are certainly not relevant or helpful (forget about related) to the work at hand!

Ah, the double edge sword of search. On the one hand, you can easily find information that would have previously taken you to a library (and maybe even microfiche film – does that even still exist?). But on the other hand, the possibility for distraction is endless and can easily take you off course and smack into an unproductive cycle of distraction and stress.

I wonder whether all this information that I discover is really useful Since I do not have a mechanism to “empty the trash” in my brain, isn’t it just taking up valuable space? Could that be why I have become so forgetful of things that are important or urgent (i.e. what did I need at the grocery store?).

I was thrilled to read Peggy Orenstein’s piece in the New York Times Magazine, Stop Your Search Engines that touched on this very topic. She shares an application that she has discovered (although it is only for Macs – boohoo!) called Freedom. On its site it is described as “an application that disables networking on an Apple computer for up to eight hours at a time” but the kicker is that “freedom enforces freedom” – I love that!

Perhaps it takes restraint in shutting off our internet, disabling our email and turning off our cell phone to focus, avoid distractions and get our work done. Personally, I can’t wait until the PC application comes out to try the experiment!!!

posted by Amy Abrams

Half-baked but not half-assed: Sharing your idea with others

(while we are on the subject of baking, we thought we would tempt you with Erin McKenna's delectable cookbook!)








Recently I read a great post by Charlie O’Donnell called Never Too Early To Talk. I was intrigued because this is a topic we talk a lot about with IGC members who are sometimes hesitant to share their idea before it is “ready” or for fear it will be stolen. I really liked what he said about the importance of feedback and the strategic role that it plays in the formation of your venture.

Two points that I would add -

We believe that when you cut yourself off from this kind of early stage feedback you have essentially set yourself up to run your business reactively. Done this way, you will inevitably launch your venture and then spend most of your time adjusting and changing things based on other people’s feedback, insights, and suggestions about things that could have been known before hand! Don’t get me wrong, much of running your business will be about adjusting and changing things based on feedback but it should be feedback from customers and the marketplace and about the kinds of things you couldn’t have known without trying them first.

Another benefit of sharing is that it actually allows you to informally engage others in your venture and get them emotionally invested in your success. Perhaps they could play critical roles down the line (investor, advisor, staff) or maybe they will *just* serve as champions, cheerleaders, and connectors for your venture. It is easy to forget just how much people love knowing the back story and being part of something!

As Charlie talks about & as we agree, much of the hesitancy that people experience is really an extension of their desire to perfect their idea or make sure their idea “ready” before sharing. They want all their ducks in a row. Rather than be in a position to ask questions about their idea with and to other people, they want to be in a position to answer any questions someone else might have and to be ready to “defend” – for lack of a better word - their idea.

I can completely relate to this and have at times in the past felt that how “air-tight” my idea was also correlated with:

1) my respect for the other person’s time {if I have asked for your time the least I could do is thinking through my idea enough to see if it holds water}

2) how smart I was {what hadn’t I thought of?!}

3) how good the idea was {see, not much room for improvement!}

It is these times that I have to push myself to see that half-baked really doesn’t mean half-assed. In fact, it is better to positioning to say:

“here’s what I’d like to do” or “I think there could be a real opportunity to”

and then say:

Given your (experience, insight), I’d love to get your thoughts.
Do you think it could work?
What am I missing?
What might you suggest doing differently?
What would your concerns be?

Half-assed is really not bothering to ask for feedback. Half-assed is not taking the time to involve others in a proper tire-kicking of the idea. Half-assed is thinking that you already know all that your venture will need to know.

{side note: in this case, not being half-assed doesn’t make you an (whole) ass – where in the heck does that phrase come from anyway?}

Well Said/Worth Reading - Article Round Up

(journal from the Archie Grand series I love)





Here are some articles and posts on our mind this week. Would love to hear your thoughts on them.

Stop Talking About Work+Life Flex Solely in the Context of Women…Really, Seriously, Once and for All by Cali Yost

5 Small Businesses Successfully Using Social Media by Lauren Fisher on Mashable

Kiva: A Cautionary Tale for Social Entrepreneurs? by Timoth Ogden on HBS Conversation Starter

Why the Internet Is So Distracting (And What You Can Do About It) by Jeff Stibel on HBS Conversation Starter

Business Plan Writers are Bad Business by LouAnn Conner

LADIES!

we (and our wants and needs) are really making the news circuit this week...here's just a few highlights

At ‘Davos for Women,’ Some View the Downturn as an Opportunity to Rise by Katrin Bennhold at NYTimes.com

Happy Hunting – by Rebecca Mead at NewYorker.com
think piece/interview with Michael Silver, co-author of “Women Want More: How to Capture Your Share of the World’s Largest, Fastest-Growing Market.”

When We’re Equal, We’ll Be Happy by Judith Warner @NYTimes

A Quiet Storm: What Women Want Now by Nancy Gibbs in Time

happy reading!

Recipe for DIY Success: 2 books that inspire a "can do' attitude

The upside about the down economy is that it has forced many of us to get creative, learn to do more with less, and has inspired a ‘I can do it myself’ attitude in least crafty of us.

Two new books will aid our creative efforts tremendously. Both well-designed and timely, The Cosmetic Cookbook and Remake It Home ensure that we will continue to live in style despite a smaller budget.

The Cosmetics Cookbook
“The Cosmetics Cookbook is a recipe book that contains over 50 simple recipes that you can create at home to beautify and restore health to your skin, hair and entire body using only natural ingredients. The book is divided into several sections such as facial saunas, facial cleansers, tonics and fresheners, masks, hair repairs, and entire body. Each section is introduced with an explanation of its importance and is then followed by several recipe choices. This is an exciting book for women and men of all ages who want to learn how to restore and maintain healthy skin and hair by creating recipes at home using ingredients that are natural, inexpensive, and that can probably be found in any kitchen.”
A few sample receipes can be found here
Amazon Link

Remake it Home: The Essential Guide to Resourceful Living
“Perfectly suited to the spirit of our times, this book is a spare yet stylish guide to living without wastefulness. It chimes with today’s consumer and design trends toward cost-consciousness and environmental awareness, and shows how to live stylishly by reusing and repurposing rather than buying new. This book aims to inspire a sophisticated audience not yet prepared to sacrifice great design or good style by showing both exceptional designs by leading product designers as well as offering ideas for projects we all could, and perhaps should, create.”
Found via Cool Hunting
Amazon Link

Early Fall Article Roundup

Pieces and posts that are well said & worth reading!

Twitter is a pulse, but it is a biased one
Article on the Twitter gender gap from Paid Content.

Everyday is game day when you're an entrepreneur

From HBS blogs - Conversation Starter.

Ad Shift Throws Blogs a Business Lifeline

From NY Times blogs.

The Lost Generation

The continuing job crisis is hitting young people especially hard-damaging both their future and the economy - from Business Week

My Best Innovation Advice? Be Promiscuous.

From Scott Anthony HBS blog

3 Ways to Pitch Yourself in 30 seconds

From HBS Conversation Starter Blog by Jodi Glickman

Design In Action

The Femme Den points to an array of products that smartly and subtly consider women in their design - from Inc Magazine

30 under 30: Startup Secrets
Tips from America's Coolest Young Entrepreneurs in Inc Magazine.

Bringing Icelandic Fashion to the US

Business Makeover in Fortune Small Business.

Entrepreneurship for the rest of us may also be employment for the rest of us

Last week we wrote Entrepreneurship for the Rest of Us: A Conversation about Women’s Business Growth, which talked about the important role that flexibility plays in many women’s ventures (as compared to men’s) and the impact that that has on the growth of women’s businesses.

It was inspired by two posts by Jason Cohen and his wife Darla Cohen, both entrepreneurs, but was also informed by our work with hundreds of women entrepreneurs who everyday are grappling with decisions on how to best build businesses that work for them.

I was reminded of this post and conversation by Judith Warner’s recent piece on Domestic Disturbances about The Choice Myth, which works to reframe the well-known conversation about why women work or don’t work and what they want.

In this piece Judith reports that in 2005 The Motherhood Project at the Institute for American Values surveyed more than 2,000 women and published a report that said:

Most mothers, given free choice in an ideal world, would choose to be employed — provided their employment didn’t impinge excessively on their time with their kids. Approximately two-thirds said they’d ideally work part-time or from home; only 16 percent said they’d prefer to work full-time.

Fair enough, right? But because (in my opinion) there are not enough corporate employment options that provide meaningful, engaging or challenging part-time or home-based work, women turn to entrepreneurship (in droves!) as a way to create the job they want with the benefits that they need.

It is this that makes utterly necessary to recognize two things:

1. It is very important to learn to work for yourself. It is a skill that we should seek to develop and that our institutions should support and nurture (ahem, colleges, universities, and professional schools…that means you). While the current economic downtown might help cement this as common conventional wisdom for both genders, I believe this is especially true for women.

2. It is really important that we acknowledge, showcase, and promote a diversity of entreprenuerial experiences. There are different kinds of goals, growth, and models of success.

So let’s get on it…lets teach women and girls what comes with the skill of working for yourself and also let’s highlight the range of ways to be an entrepreneur and to build and grow a business. Entrepreneurship for the rest of us may really be about employment for the rest of us, but it is enterprising, independent, and important all the same.

If you want to begin learning the best practices involved with working for yourself you can join us for two upcoming seminars that we are holding for Global Entrepreneurship Week. They are free and open to the public, though an rsvp is necessary.

(picture courtesy of ohjoy blog...work of Marisa Crawford)

Entrepreneurship for the Rest of Us: A Conversation About Women's Business Growth

(photo courtesy of Andrew Lee)





I wanted to share this really important post – Response: Sacrifice Your Health for Your Startup - from a woman named Darla Cohen. It illuminates a conversation that I have frequently, and in fact one that I have had the last two days in a row. A conversation about women’s business growth.

She wrote on her husband’s blog (Jason Cohen of A Smart Bear – a blog I like and read a lot) in response to his post: Sacrifice Your Health for Your Startup. Understandably, his post generated a lot of comments and interest, and Darla weighted in to offer a different perspective about her different entrepreneurial experience.

It is a perspective that we are very familiar with and one that tends to be under-reported and under-acknowledged.

We know from sources like the Kaufman Foundation that women-led ventures are smaller, less growth-oriented, and start with less capital than men-owned firms.

People often abhor these statistics and report them in the context of “studies show that women still lag behind men”. It is true, in terms of growth and access to capital women entrepreneurs do lag behind men. I get frustrated about these stories, not because of the lag but because the lag is really not the point. Many women entrepreneurs aren’t concerned about this lag, because it isn’t necessarily reporting on the things that they care about most. Perhaps surprisingly, running businesses similar to their male counterparts is not what all women entrepreneurs want. For some women, growth and sale price are neither the motivating factors nor the markers of success.

Why? Because they have different goals (something we work very hard with our members to be clear about).

Instead of size and scale they may prioritize flexibility and autonomy. And when I say flexibility, I don’t just mean the day-to-day kind, but I am also talking about seasonal and yearly flexibility. Many women I know don’t want their business to be on a growth path that they don’t have control over and want the ability to slow, relocate, or halt their businesses as they need to or want to.

Others may be more concerned with building something that is sustainable in the long-term, that they can run for the next 10 years. For these women working for themselves may be the next step in their career path or a destination that they have been working towards for some time.

And although these women aren’t following the traditionally glorified entrepreneurial path, they are still entrepreneurs and they still run businesses and they still contribute to the economy and still have an impact on their industries and communities. You can distinguish these businesses as lifestyle businesses if that makes you feel better, although to Darla’s point, that phrase does seem to undermine the amount of work and sacrifice that these ventures take. And I can’t tell you how many of these so-called lifestyle business owners I know are self-supporting…a reality that makes running a business a lot less lifestyle-ish.

Now, don’t get me wrong – I hate generalities and I recognize and work daily with women who don’t fit this description, women who are focused on size and scale and who are building great companies in the process. And there are fabulous resources out there (though not enough!) that help women to access the money, skills, and knowledge needed to grow their businesses quickly – Make Mine a Million, being a leader among them. And it is a shame that lack of access to funding and critical resources limits women who do want to grow businesses in this way.

But, I like Darla’s post because it authentically speaks about a different but common entrepreneurial experience. The reality is that there are many kinds of entrepreneurs, who need different types of support and various kinds of resources, but all of whom experience many of the same entrepreneurial challenges (innovation, positioning, motivation, execution, decision-making) and deserve the respect that goes with the territory.

And what I really liked were the responses to Darla’s post – all positive and supportive from other folks who also recognize that entrepreneurship truly encompasses a diversity of experience and purpose.

Get Your Head on Straight: A List of What REALLY Matters for Startups by Paul Graham

(image courtesy of www.techiteasy.org)

I found another great entrepreneur/start up “words of wisdom” article a couple weeks ago that I have been carrying with me since and sharing with colleagues and In Good Company members left and right.

Startups in 13 Sentences by Paul Graham

Why do I like this article so much? Because it helps you focus on what is important.

We have talked with a lot of members this week who feel:

1. overwhelmed by the amount of information out there and want help SIFTING through all that data/advice/information

2. everything is a priority and everything is 'important' and want help BOLDING the truly critical items on the list

This article does that at the business principle level (which is what is what really matters anyhow). Rather than parse it out here, I think it is important to read as is.

The pieces that stuck with me the most –

* Co-founders are to startups as location is to real estate

* The real work is not coming up with a great idea and getting to market but rather it is evolving and improving that idea once you really get to play in the marketplace (so for all those ‘planners’ and ‘to-do listers’ listen up: - it is NOT about figuring it all out ahead of time! Get going already.)

* It is all about the users (or in our case – members!); they are what matters most. True true.

* Focus of giving “surprisingly good” customer service. I have more thought on this that will follow in a later post.

* Lessons about NOT getting demoralized or giving up

We are going to start including this in the IGC new member packet along with the Fred Wilson article that we wrote about a couple weeks ago.

thanks, Gentlemen.